Donut County (PS4, 2018)

This review is going to go differently. I bought Donut County for Diane and she recently finished it. Since she doesn’t like to write these posts for me, I decided to interview her instead.

Q: What is Donut County?

Umm … it is a game where you swallow everything with holes. And that is all you do.

Q: Seriously, that’s it?

Well there’s a catapult sometimes so you gotta launch shit, to choose to swallow more things with the hole. But the controller – literally – joystick and one button.

Q: What did you like best about Donut County?

Sometimes you swallow stuff that causes explosions. Or the part with the Ferris Wheel where we launched a Ferris wheel at a castle. It was also kind of satisfying to swallow up the characters themselves. Hmm. And the dialogue, especially the Trashopedia, was pretty entertaining.

Q: What’s a “trashopedia”?

It teaches you what each item in the game that you swallowed up was (except for the characters). It is very educational if you take the time to read it.

Q: Did you like the characters? If so, why?

Yeah, I did. They … they are a group of characters that seem very comfortable with each other so there are a lot of friendly insults thrown at one another and no one really took offense. It’s kind of how I am with my friends. So it felt like, despite the predicament they were in, they were still a good group of friends.

Q: Other than swallowing everything with holes, would you say Donut County is really about friendship then?

I would say it is more about redemption. There is a pretty good redemption arc in there. And education courtesy of the trashopedia.

Q: Was there anything you didn’t like?

Not really. I can see some people finding the whole all we are doing is swallowing things in a hole repetitive, but there are a variety of puzzles that add to the game. And it is not terribly long, as you probably expect, so it doesn’t overstay its welcome.

Q: Favorite scene, character, or level?

I thought that the game over screen was a nice touch. I wasn’t sure where it was going to go and then it leads to a surprise cutscene. I am not sure if it is actual canon or not, but I feel it adds a little layer by potentially breaking the fourth wall with it. It felt like a nice surprise. As surprising as a game over screen can be in a game where you swallow things in a hole.

Q: Any final thoughts or anything else you would like to add?

Quack.

Now Playing: Mildred Pierce (1945)

During the 2017 holiday season, I got a great deal on the Best of Warner Bros. 100 Film Collection. Diane and I haven’t seen most of these movies, but we are committed to watching one a week and writing a short review.


After a long hiatus, we pick up again with 1945’s “Mildred Pierce”. Winning Joan Crawford an Academy Award for Best Actress, “Mildred Pierce” follows the titular character after she marries, remarries, and murders her way to her evil daughter’s own self-destruction. It is two hours of whining about status in a story stripped of its Prohibition context when compared to the novel on which its based. As a film noir, it enthralls from the outset and sets a mood counter to its California setting to keep you on edge while you watch strong female characters do what thus far in this series they haven’t been able to do: be the sole focus.

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Wally Fay (played by Jack Carson) acts as some kind of family friend, but he really just wants to sleep with Mildred. It is hard to read him as charming with a modern ear, as he frequently seems one roofy away from rape despite also having kinder moments.

Our largest critique of the film was its use of class in a less than convincing way. In the chronological beginning of the movie when Mildred begins to tell the police her story, we learn that her husband Bert was financially well-off but they had since fallen on hard times. What hard times, dare you ask? How about a nice suburban California home, a car, and piano and dance lessons for the kids. Starving! Bert walks out after Mildred let’s him know the children will always come before his jobless, deadbeat ass.

That is where Mildred ultimately sets herself up for her own failure. As soon as she tells Bert who comes first and he leaves, we are introduced to their oldest daughter, Veda, who is an insufferable brat who seems to have delusions of having a Nigerian prince send her millions of dollars. (Please excuse the anachronism – this is the 40’s and the African American characters are still just the help, not princes or princesses.) Her mother sold cakes and pies to buy her a dress, but Veda calls it cheap just by its smell and has zero appreciation or respect.

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Veda, seen here with the love of her life, money.

Veda is equally the best and worst thing about this movie. She’s the prime cause of most of its melodrama. Joan Crawford’s Mildred is a mother, conflicted by a justified loathing of her own daughter, who repeatedly fails to break her of her spoiled habits of insubordination. For all her trouble, Veda is a spoiled heiress despite being heir to nothing, and chews on scenes like a villain twice her age and experience. Early on, she says her younger sister looks like a peasant and she puts on other airs throughout the rest of the film.

If Veda made sense, then her turn as the movies antagonist and chief cause of mischief would be a worthwhile reason to return to this film. Instead, the movie does little to explain why she is such a bitch all the time to everyone or how her nose got stuck up quite so high. As her counterpoint, her mother is a woman who makes it in a man’s world by starting a business where there was none, all while she bats off suitor after suitor who cannot take no for an answer until they themselves tire of the chase.

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Eve Arden’s character, Ida, was a standout due to her spunk. She plays the spurned tomboy best friend role but that only makes her more endearing.

I absolutely loved that women were front-and-center in this film even if there’s little worth celebrating of either character. They both, for me, represent the toxic extreme of mother and daughter taken to an illogical conclusion. Despite her daughter’s horrible, borderline psychopathic behavior, Mildred continues to baby, spoil, and ruin any hope of Veda becoming a capable, independent adult. At the same time, Veda expects the world to be handed to her for zero effort and isn’t afraid of doing whatever it takes to support her own self-interest and ego, including lying about a pregnancy to a dullard with money stupid enough to marry her in secret.

“Mildred Pierce” remains immensely watchable due to its acting and some solid cinematography. The writing is a product of its time, but the whole affair moves at a brisk pace, never lingering long enough to overstay any welcome. Yet, upon further reflection, the film feels more like a daytime television soap opera condensed to a rapid-fire two hour format. There’s murder, lying, divorce, poor rich people, rich poor people, and a suspension of disbelief that let’s it all happen. The film noir overtones maximize the intrigue and help fill in the gaps in what is otherwise a straightforward melodrama.

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Zachary Scott’s character, and the film’s murder victim, plays creepy far too well. Several times his attractiveness is mentioned but no.

With all that in mind, I still feel a little trashy having watched this movie. It isn’t risque or disturbing, mind you, but it is sleezy all the same. A soap opera with great acting, “Mildred Pierce” is what happens when white people fret over how high up the middle class ladder they are standing while nothing else in the world is important enough to even register. The film has a timelessness to it since it feels so far removed from its context but more emphasis on the Great Depression and its direct impact on these characters might have shored up the only real flaws I found in the movie.

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“You’re also to blame for me killing someone, mom. Help me hide the body.” – Worst Child Ever

N-O-L-A NOLA, No No No No NOLA

Apologies for my delay in a new post! After posting every day for Blaugust and my recent change in positions at work, I needed a vacation from everything. That said, let’s talk about my vacation to New Orleans.

Neither Diane nor I had ever been the New Orleans, despite not living very far away. I don’t think we knew what to expect either. We planned very little in advance, preferring instead to go in whichever direction our adventure took us. We had a few things we wanted to do though: we both wanted to eat something good and Diane wanted to take us on a ghost tour.

On our way to Louisiana, we stayed overnight with Diane’s cousin in Alabama. Nothing noteworthy happened, though it was a pleasure seeing family. I like her cousin a lot. She has a gigantic POP! Figure and movie collection, which was fun to peruse. She also made us a delicious rice dish which I gratefully ate two bowls of before taking a few more bites out of Diane’s.

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Did you know about Jefferson Davis’s dog, Traveler? He was later reborn as a giant sphere in the hit game Destiny.

Driving into Louisiana the next day, we knew we were heading in the right direction when we spotted an alligator dead on the highway. Talk about roadkill! In the South, we worry about hitting deer since they are numerous, roads are especially dark, and most of the state is un(der)developed wilderness. I cannot imagine what it would be like to hit something as low and heavy as an alligator.

We arrived too early to check into our hotel, so I drove down toward the French Quarter instead. That was a mistake. I wanted to visit the hat store (spoiler, I didn’t buy a hat) right away, but the streets there are narrow, there is no parking available, and people were constantly walking back and forth across those narrow streets. I hate driving in that kind of environment, especially when I do not know where I am going, so we quickly turned around and found the first paid parking lot ($15!) and just walked.

The first big surprise for me was the number of people walking around with an alcoholic beverage in hand. I suppose I am far more conservative than I realize because the sight was quite shocking. I am used to drinking being limited to socially-acceptable drinking spaces; not drinking as you wander from bar to bar or kitsch shop to kitsch shop. The number of places advertising “cocktails to go” in absurd sizes (fishbowls, as an example) made me immediately think that New Orleans is Disney World for alcoholics.

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Mmm, hurricanes!

Beyond the free flow of inebriants, the French Quarter was quite beautiful. I loved the Old World architecture, especially as it was blended in with new stores and store fronts. I have never been to Europe (or France specifically), but I still got that vibe from the images/movies I have seen.

After parking, we wandered around on foot until we found the hat store. All weekend long I had trouble using Google Maps for walking. The internal compass of my phone always seemed askew and every time I thought we were going the right way, we weren’t. When we finally found the place, I was first elated with the selection and then I became disenchanted with how everything looked on my head. For years I wanted a beard but it never “looked right” and now that I do and it does, I remain hopeful that my same want for a proper hat and my similar inability to get one that works will one day be a thing of the past. For now, I range anywhere from douche, to old man, to cheesy tourist depending on the hat. Never do I look cool.

After our sneak peak, we went to our hotel to check in and get ready for dinner. The hotel was nice, which was a plus, because we mostly got it for a) free parking and b) its proximity to where we wanted to go. I was a little concerned when we first got there because it is immediately next to/behind a small hospital, but it was quiet.

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I am a sucker for a good soft-shell crab and this one was delicious!

Our first meal was at Gabrielle’s, a restaurant resurrected after its destruction by Hurricane Katrina. It was a small but intimate place not too far from the hotel. The meal came with free bread. Each time they brought us a loaf, we’d devour it and each time the waitress would ask if we wanted more. The couple next to us barely touched theirs but it was too delicious not to keep getting more. I kept giving them a side-eye for being bread-ignoring weirdos.

Overall, the meal was good, but I doubt I would go back or recommend it to anyone else. Of all the places we would eat, it was easily the most “frou-frou”. As such, it came with small portions and big price tags. We were both disappointed in the bread pudding. It had enough alcohol left in it to still burn as it went down your throat. It tasted more bitter from the booze than sweet from anything else. I am sure some people enjoy their desserts the same as they like their shots of bourbon, but I have always avoided those kinds of desserts. It reminded me of my Aunt’s rum balls she brought for Christmas: pleasant only if you like the challenge of eating enough of them to get a buzz.

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From there, we walked back to the more fun parts of town. Most of the weekend, we opted to walk at least to where we were going and Uber back to the hotel when we were done. That way, we avoided going down unknown streets late at night. My dad, who admits to being a New Orleans fan who lived nearby for many years, made it clear to me that we should be very, very careful late at night. I felt less worried when we arrived, couldn’t remember where we parked, remembered it was near a police station, googled for the nearest station, and found at least six. There were police everywhere we went including some on horses, some on bikes, and some in SUVs.

Despite doing a ton of walking (we hit 25,000 steps one of the days), it was a lowkey weekend. We enjoyed wandering around all day and night. On Sunday, we got trapped in by a gay pride parade, which was great because we eventually found a place to stand and watch. With that going on, it was easily one of the gayer weekends of my life. I always thought of New Orleans as a place to see lots of boobs. We walked by Coyote Ugly and there was a white girl poorly dancing on the bar top to an empty room. Instead, we saw a lot of butts and, if the butt wasn’t exposed, then it was a bear in short-shorts.

And it was so much fun! A gay man hit on me, err, hit at me. He told Diane, “Honey, you better keep him close”. I was exhilarated. No one ever hits on me and I have never had a man hit on me. Sure, it was a little scary to be checked out by a hairy, shirtless man drinking on a stoop late at night in a strange city. Still flattering. I think the world would be a better place if unsolicited flirtation was more equitable for both sexes (and any other persuasions). In a single moment, my straight white male self gained a much better understanding of the paradox of how a compliment can be both welcome and unwelcome.

The parade itself was, to be cliched, fabulous. There were belly dancers and gay luchadores and Elvises and elves and other costumes I cannot explain. For the S&M portion, I felt like I was watching Beast Master only on a broken television where blacks and grays were turned to all the colors of the rainbow. I loved watching Beast Master as a kid and I imagine some of those fellas did too, albeit for slightly different reasons.

There was an anti-homosexuality group marching as well, but they were small. They also got booed like heels at a wrestling event. There was another hate group with a bullhorn on a different day, but we let them be and kept going our own way.

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I have to hand it to hate-mongering bigots, they are comfortable being outnumbered.

Later the same night, we did our one and only walking ghost tour. Diane was most excited for it, but I was less so. The big draw for me were the BOGO hurricanes for going. I have to say though, after having done it once, I would go again. Less a “haunted hay ride” with jump scares and more a history/folk lore lesson, it was a ton of fun. Our tour guide was very nice and informative, but the biggest highlights for me were all the drunken crazies that kept interrupting us.

For instance:

  • When she was explaining she could lose her tour guide license if we didn’t stand on the side walk, a fake fight broke out across the street where one drunkard broke a bottle and brandished it at another drunkard. Our tour guide let us know not to do that as it would be an easy way to get arrested.
  • We were twerked at by a very drunk man.
  • Another individual called us a bunch of fags as he rode by on his bicycle.
  • A drag queen interrupted us to talk about a famous man who lived across the street from where we were standing. I hadn’t heard of him and do not recall his name.
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LaLaurie Mansion

I learned a lot about voodoo and vampirism and how they relate to New Orleans. I snapped a few photos to see if I could get any “orbs” (I am not too up to speed on the ghost hunting thing) but no luck. At the end, the tour guide advised us to remove our wristbands since they were clear indicators that we should be mugged so we did.

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As wholesome as New Orleans gets!

Beyond the walking and discovering my bicuriosity, we also ate great food. Diane is less familiar with Cajun and Creole cuisine – I more or less grew up eating this kind of stuff – so we stuck to the staples. We got a debris po’boy from Mothers, a popular spot that had a long line. It was delicious. Think roast beef but more intense and served on fresh bread. We also tried New Orleans coffee (a crushed ice, milk, coffee, and chicory blend that was pretty tasty). Finally, we sampled several gumbos at several places, as well as an etouffee and a jambalaya. The weather was drizzling off-and-on, so all the warm rice dishes were welcome despite it being a hotter/more humid time of year.

As much as I will forever treasure the experiences we had, I don’t think New Orleans is the place for us. I’d love to stop by again, but I doubt we ever directly go there. I would do more ghost tours and other walking tours, but the city’s focus on drinking and nightlife is less what I want in a vacation. I never was a big partier, not even in college, and it was hard finding some of the quieter, calmer spots to relax. I loved a lot about the city and am grateful it exists, but visiting once is all most people will ever want to do when it comes to New Orleans.

New Orleans Bound

The last day of Blaugust and the first day of vacation. For the first time ever, Diane and I are visiting the Big Easy, New Orleans. And I am excited! My father always fashioned himself as something of a Cajun, so growing up I ate a lot of gumbo and similar faire. This is our chance to taste the real thing.

I also have intentions of purchasing a hat. Diane won’t allow me a fedora, (no m’ladying for me) but I am hoping to find something else that isn’t a baseball and/or trucker hat. We will see. There’s a fine line between old man and douchebag …

Stay tuned for more about our travels!


This post is part of a series of everyday posts for Blaugust. If you’d like to know more, click here.

WoW, This Is It?

It is extremely telling for me that an expansion dominated by trolls is not drawing me back in to play World of Warcraft every night. Battle for Azeroth’s initial grip on me has slackened greatly and now I regret committing to a three month run.

Here’s the rub: Battle for Azeroth, and current World of Warcraft in general, is a solid iteration of a game that has no right to be this good this many years later. That said, I feel like its a pretty boring single player RPG, a lackluster multiplayer game, and an awful MMORPG. I had hoped to get a solid month plus out of it but I don’t know if I can anymore.

Let’s rundown some of my biggest problems with the game “as is” in Battle for Azeroth:

Progression Regression

Leveling, as in playing the game, is still a lot of fun in World of Warcraft. Leveling, as in playing a roleplaying game where you expect your character to advance and evolve, has never been worse.

When you level up in Battle for Azeroth, you get nothing. No talents, abilities, or anything of any kind of merit whatsoever. Everything scales now too so there isn’t even a sense of “being able to go places I previously couldn’t”. Outside of padding, I don’t understand why they added more levels in the first place.

Now, I don’t mind quicker leveling, but leveling in general should always mean something in a RPG. I doubt I could go back to the days of EverQuest leveling where getting past a level (and staying there) was an achievement unto itself but World of Warcraft had a happy medium once and I miss it.

My Character Plays the Same

Toward the end of Legion, I exclusively played my Warrior as Fury for the quick PvE kills while I finished up some lingering quest chains. I enjoy Fury and I decided to keep leveling that way. It plays exactly the same as it did though, so yay?

I think we are all a bit spoiled by Blizzard’s willingness to rewrite the rules every expansion. Maybe it was time to get away from that. Still, the new expansion chaos of “relearning” key aspects of the game has always been something I have looked forward to. I am not sure I will be as excited for a future expansion if Blizzard has found its permanent status quo.

A MMORPG With Chat Turned Off

My schedule for playing is chaotic. For the first time, I am a true casual player who only gets an hour(ish) every few nights (maybe). At first I enjoyed the lazy pacing, but it is harder and harder to login when I have no guild, few in-game friends I don’t talk to elsewhere, and zero reason to find a guild/make friends/casually chat in dungeons.

The other day, a stranger whispered me to ask about Warriors. I was shocked. He was the first non-friend to send me a message without intending to recruit me into some horrible spam invite guild.

It was a brief conversation. I could’ve gone for more, but I didn’t have the energy. I miss the days even in early World of Warcraft where chatting with strangers was part of the allure. I made a lot of friends in-game that way, but there’s no real point to trying anymore. Everything is laid out in-game or on the internet on my second monitor.

What do I need other players for? Absolutely nothing.

Ending On A Positive

There are a lot of trolls and I love all of the Zandalari zone design. Plus, troll-based armor everywhere! Battle for Azeroth is a dream come true in the sense that you dream about winning a million dollars, enjoy it for a bit, and then wake up to being broke again.

But trolls …


This post is part of a series of everyday posts for Blaugust. If you’d like to know more, click here.

New Games Acquired!

Good news, everyone! I have added two games to the list of other games I still need to play: Dead Cells (Nintendo Switch) and Donut County (Playstation 4). Here’s a short preview of both:

Donut County

I bought Donut County for Diane. Other than Zelda and Smash Brothers, she likes simpler puzzle games to relax with. Donut County looked like a solid pick for her and it has not disappointed yet.

Similar in idea to Katamari Damacy, in Donut County you play a hole that increases in size every time something falls into it. Entrap everything in the level and you win. It is very simple, but she said there was a pleasure to that simplicity and seeing objects disappear down a hole.

The standout for me just watching her play was the dialogue and humor. It reminds me a lot of season one of Regular Show which I very much enjoyed. It will likely be too short for what I paid, but I am excited to see the rest of the plot, give or take any holes.

Dead Cells

I bought Dead Cells for myself. I am a sucker for roguelikes and action-platformer Metroidvanias are in for me right now considering I just wanted more sweet, sweet Hollow Knight exploration action.

Thirty minutes or so with the game and I can tell I will like it. There’s a solid blend of exploration, combat, and items to collect. I hope it holds up as I get deeper into it and better at not dying.

My favorite thing so far is the art style. Pixel art is always attractive to me, but it has become a bit overdone. Despite that, Dead Cells impresses me with its animations and overall presentation. There is some humor with the main character very early on that I also appreciated.


This post is part of a series of everyday posts for Blaugust. If you’d like to know more, click here.

Hollowed Knight

In my review of Hollow Knight for the Nintendo Switch, I said:

Castlevania: Symphony of the Night holds a special place in my heart. It is one of the few games I have beaten multiple times on multiple platforms. Elevating a game like Hollow Knight to be its equal is a huge honor in my book. Deservedly so because the nearly 40 hours I have already put into Hollow Knight isn’t nearly enough even if I am running out of things to do. I cannot wait for more with the game’s next DLC!

Well, I waited for the release of Godhome, the final free DLC for Hollow Knight, and, to be frank, I am disappointed. Given that this is free DLC (something I very much appreciate it) and it comes after a lot of other free DLC (again, thank you so much), let me clarify a few things:

  • Godhome adds more content. I refuse to hold that against it.
  • I much prefer the days where developers gave free updates as opposed to our current climate where I sometimes feel they break things just to charge to fix it later.
  • Hollow Knight is still perfect on its own.

The problem at the heart of the Godhome DLC is this: it wasn’t what I wanted. My favorite thing without question about Hollow Knight was the exploration. From the beginning to the end of my time with it prior to Godhome, I thought it was a perfect take on the Metroidvania formula, complete with a spooky atmosphere and really outstanding animations/combat.

The entire purpose of Godhome is to add in a boss rush mode. That’s it. That’s all. There aren’t new areas to explore, new items to collect, or new abilities. It is just bosses in a rush.

I actually really loved the challenge of chasing down some of the game’s harder bosses. I also loved braving some of the game’s more advanced platforming. Hollow Knight is the kind of game that makes me forget it is hard because I keep playing, keep pushing, and keep improving.

Godhome would’ve likely done the same if I had the willpower, but I don’t. I didn’t follow this DLC too closely to avoid spoilers, so maybe my hype and interest could’ve been curbed long ago, but I wanted a new area. I want someplace new to explore and to overcome. I wanted new bosses too but done in a way that tied back into the plot and mystery of the game.

Godhome is not that and therefore I cannot objectively look at it as being either good or bad. For me, the idea was a letdown as soon as I realized what I was getting into and more so when I googled spoilers to make sure I wasn’t wrong.

For the most hardcore fans out there, Godhome may be a dream come true. For me, it is just a reminder that I would much prefer a Hollow Knight 2 with new places to explore to this. Boss rushes are great and can be fun. I wish I could get over my disappointment and just enjoy this DLC for what it is but I can’t.


This post is part of a series of everyday posts for Blaugust. If you’d like to know more, click here.

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