Creative

The Short Tale of Roldoon the Bard #D&D

I have always wanted an Irish accent. There’s just something especially lovely about it. In a way, I’ve always heard an Irish accent as being a Southern (US) accent with all the charm and none of the baggage. All that baggage largely comes from my “fish out of water” upbringing in the rural South and my total ignorance of most things Irish, but let’s move on.

On a recent evening out to a bar, Diane and I decided to have a few drinks. I am a lightweight. I also do not eat much during the day. Combining those two factors with an especially strong and tasty hard cider, plus it being the end of a long work day, and I was soon feeling pretty good about life.

After the meal, she and I walked around the local shopping area and I entertained her with a sing-song-slurry-slur-a-long. She laughed – her mistake – and I persisted. With an upcoming Dungeons & Dragons one-shot coming up, the evening gave birth to my first D&D bard: Roldoon the Dwarf Bard.

In written form, I’d say Roldoon’s voice is explained best as soft, melodic way of saying every word without using any of the vowels, at an extreme enough tilt that no one knows when one word has ended and another begun, without ever going so fast as to seem like you are trying to rap badly. Oh and lots of swearing.

I was nervous to “do a voice” for what turned out to be a two-shot instead, but it ended up great.  My party consisted of a Barbarian named Korg (pronounced Krrrrg), a Fighter named Karlus who went by ‘Carl’ (pronounced like ‘curl’ if you forced into a sudden single syllable). There was also a lot of “O! feck uee ahcurse I speak c’mmmm’n. Ime a brd fer cryn ootlowd” (Translated: Oh fuck you. Of course I speak common. I am a bard for crying out loud!) since the DM had no idea what I was saying most of the time – nor did my party, though they let me speak for them frequently.

In the adventure, the three of us arrived at a port city besieged by disease in desperate need for a rare sentient mushroom in a nearby jungle. Our quest was to brave the dangers of the jungle, find this incredibly rare creature, and bring it back.

I got in a lot of taunting, but I mostly failed to land any spells while hiding behind trees. The other two cleaned up.

I am unsure I’d try to do another voice again, but it was a nice change of pace. It really helped me get into the character, even if I was torturing everyone with a bad Irish/Scottish/still somehow Southern voice. It went over well though, so I am imagining a whole line of dwarves: maybe Doldoon the Shepard Druid or Woldoon the Warlock!

For my next single use character though, I am running a Bugbear Kensai Monk whip master named Calibos. I am excited for 15ft stunning strikes!

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